In the last update I sent out, I mentioned my attendance in a program call '12 step'. For those of you who assumed Alcoholics Anonymous--You can all breath a sigh of relief. When I first started to tell people about the program, I didn't realize that their minds may jump to the all too familiar 'AA'. Oh, well. I'm not an alcoholic.
12 step is a Christian, self help/recovery/inner healing program that, I suppose, does reflect many of the same values as 'AA'. I didn't take time in my last update to explain more about the program because, frankly, I was unsure how to explain it. I think I have a better idea now that I'm approaching my 7th week of attending. Basically, as you progress through the '12 steps' (one step a week), there are several questions that you must answer and then share said answers with the group. The questions are aimed to cause you to look deep into your life, and hopefully, by your answer, provide some kind of healing and perspective on why your life is or is not 'messed' up.
Just to give you an idea of the question categories:
Resentment
Fear
Repressed or Inappropriately expressed anger
Approval seeking
Caretaking
Control
Fear of abandonment
Fear of authority figures
Frozen feelings
Isolation
Low self-esteem
Overdeveloped sense of responsibility
Irresponsibility
Inappropriately expressed sexuality
So, yes. You can just imagine the fun time I am having with this stuff.
It's good. It's hard to look into yourself and examine for flaws and defects while being committed to changing yourself. But, its a crucial step that I believe all of us should take.
I'll keep you posted on more of that later.
Snow started to fall here yesterday. I should have taken a picture but no, I didn't There's something magical about the first snow. The temperature is still high enough for objects to be damp which the snow takes advantage of by sticking to them. This is most impressive on trees. White branches sparkling in the warm glow of dawning sun. Maybe it's jus me but when I see snow, I feel complete. I feel like I am on top of the world and impervious to any opposition. One of my favourite things in the world to do is to drive through a blizzard at night without snow tires while listening to German Christmas music. Best feeling in the world. It fills me with nostalgic feelings of childhood. Somehow, my memory tells me that everything was OK when that mysterious, white substance was on the ground.
However, at this particular moment in time, it's bittersweet. Although I love the snow, it's presence means that work is coming to an end. There aren't many campground related jobs to do in the winter. Last year at this time, I was working for Landmark Builders. Great company and I loved working for them. Anyway, I've been working for them during the last 3 weeks but that is starting to wind down now. Or is it? I don't know. They don't give me much information in advance. I'm trying to find some more work to help me save up for my trip in January. I can't believe how soon January is!
I'm trying to work as much as I can and save money. I think i'm doing pretty well. I only need about $10,000 for my trip. I have just about all of my camera gear now. All my lenses! I picked the last one up last weekend. I made the decision that I would leave for this trip even if the money hasn't fully come in. I know that this is what God has for me at this point in my life and I think I need to take a risk and go with it. Although, if I really am convinced that this is what God has for me, where's the risk? Exactly. Maybe there is no risk. But I think we will always feel some kind of risk as long as we are not completely trusting in God. Many of us don't get to be in that place but we MUST always strive for it. If anything, our RISK is a gage to our TRUST. TRUST enough to RISK and RISK enough to TRUST.
I found out where the school starts! Bogotaaaá, Colombia! I have to be there on the 5th of January. I've been looking into flights and they are a lot more expensive than I thought they would be. Lame.
I'm trying not to freak out about leaving in less than 2 months. Yes, the money is a factor but also i'm being overwhelmed by it as a whole. I feel like there is so much to do and not enough time to do it in. Again…… TRUST.
A few of you mentioned that you would like to support me financially… If you would still like to do so, please get in contact with me and I'll tell you how!
Also, if there is anyone else that would like to support me financially and through prayer.. Fell free to contact me. Even if you want to support me in prayer, please tell me. I like knowing who's praying!
Thanks again for all your continued support!
I'll keep you posted,
Bren
